If you are reading this then you have probably heard about hypnobirthing before, or are maybe even considering trying it yourself.
You might be at the stage where you’re trying to figure out what it is exactly. Or perhaps you already know what it is, but want to get a handle on whether it’s worth investing your time and money on.
Speaking from my own personal experience of hypnobirthing I would say: 100% do it, IF you are ready to put in the practise.
What is hypnobirthing
To be honest I think the name is really misleading.
If you have visions of me watching a pocket watch swing back and forth, with someone chanting “you are getting sleepy, veeeery sleeeeeepy”, then sorry to disappoint, but there was none of that.
Hypnobirthing focuses on the reality that both the mother’s and baby’s bodies are made for childbirth.
It aims to reduce the fear associated with delivery, as this anxiety leads to tension and subsequently pain in the body (“fear-tension-pain syndrome” coined by Dr Grantly Dick-Read).
Through guided visualisations, controlled breathing and positive affirmations, the mother can enter a deep state of relaxation, allowing the body to also relax and do what it was made to do.
Choosing to try hypnobirthing
I have always had this underlying fear of labour. Even as a teenager I remember talking to both my Mum and sister about it and telling them how freaked out I was that I would have to do it one day.
Fast forward to my pregnancy with baby K and the fear factor turned up a notch. Now the “I’ll have to deal with that one day” thought was more like a scream: “HELP ME, HOW AM I GOING TO GET THIS BABY OUT?!”
Despite the fear, I was adamant that I didn’t want a C-section. The choice of how to birth is very personal, but I knew in my heart of hearts that I wanted to deliver vaginally, if nature allowed.
I decided to give hypnobirthing a go after hearing my cousin gushing about what a wonderful birthing experience she had using this technique.
After a bit of research I decided to go with Hannah Barnes of Calm Births, the hypnobirthing teacher my cousin had used, albeit online as she is in the UK and I was in Switzerland.
The hypnobirthing course
The course was made up of 4 sessions and we started when I was around 30 weeks pregnant.
Mr A and I sat down in front of the PC. I was excited. Mr A looked nervous and somewhat sceptical.
From the moment we started, Hannah made us both feel relaxed and also confident that she was the right person to be working with: as a mum of 3 and with 10 years experience as a midwife, she certainly has the credentials to know what she is talking about!
Over the course Hannah guided us through the hypnobirthing process. There was a good mix of general information, which is applicable to everyone, and content that was tailored to us based on our responses to questions and the exercises.
Hannah gave a fantastic explanation of all the changes the body makes in preparation for birth and during labour itself. She also went through all the work the baby does to help the birth. It truly is amazing how your body and your baby work together to make this happen.
I was amazed at how much this helped to reframe the delivery for me. Of course I knew that women are built for childbirth, but learning the details of what really happens changed my mind-set. It also calmed down that little voice in my head that had been shouting “BUT ITS HEAD WILL BE THE SIZE OF A MELON”.
Acknowledging fears and letting them go
Acknowledging the fears I had about labour and also about life once the baby was born was a big release. Putting pen to paper and writing down all the things I was worried about, then discussing them was an immense help.
Also hearing about Mr A’s concerns was an eye opener and led to us coming up with solutions for both our worries, which we probably never would have articulated if we hadn’t been told to do it for homework!
As mentioned earlier, fear leads to tension in the body and this causes greater pain. By going into labour without fear and with a positive mind-set, it is much easier to keep the body relaxed, allowing your muscles to get on with what they need to do.
Positive affirmations, guided visualisations and breathing
Positive affirmations
Hannah gave me positive affirmations to listen to, which I did on a daily basis.
This is really not a chore, as you don’t even have to focus on the words, the affirmations can just be on in the background when you’re doing other things.
As described on successconsciousness.com “Your subconscious mind accepts as true what you keep saying, and it attracts corresponding events and situations into your life. So why not choose only positive statements, so you create desirable results?”
In preparation for the birth, I then actively listened to the affirmations and chose the ones which resonated with me the most and wrote them down. I used these in the delivery room to help stay positive and focused.
Guided visualisation
There were a couple of beautiful guided visualisation audios to listen to and I got into the habit of listening to one in particular almost every night whilst I was falling asleep.
If you are not used to meditating it can take a while to get into doing this type of visualisation. You may find yourself wondering if you are doing it right, or getting stressed that your mind has wondered off again.
Don’t worry, this is all totally normal and really doesn’t matter. As soon as you notice that your mind has wandered, just gently bring it back to the visualisation and continue from there.
This was one of the most powerful parts of hypnobirthing for me. I had one of the visualisations running during almost the entire active labour. Poor Mr A and the midwife must have been so fed up with hearing the same words over and over again! But tough luck…I was the one trying to push a little human out of me!
Breathing
Most people learn breathing techniques in preparation for labour, through hypnobirthing, an antenatal class or just watching videos online.
One thing I found very helpful was to come up with some words to recite in my head for the different breathing techniques.
For example, during a contraction (this is called a “surge” in hypnobirthing), the in breath and out breath should be of equal length. I recited the following phrase over and over again in my head:
- Breathing in: “you are strong and can do this”
- Breathing out: “each breath brings baby closer”
I found that the breathing techniques, coupled with positive affirmations and guided visualisation allowed me to keep my body relaxed and my mind focused.
Hypnobirthing videos
Watching birthing videos of women who were practising hypnobirthing was a lightbulb moment for me.
Prior to this the only videos of births I had seen were in Hollywood movies and they don’t exactly fill you with confidence.
During each session with Hannah she showed us a birthing video, showcasing four totally different hypnobirthing experiences: a home delivery, a water birth, a hospital birth and a planned C-section.
The women in the videos seemed so calm and in control. This was at total odds with my mental image of primal screams and tearing at the bedsheets.
Even if you decide not to try hypnobirthing I would urge you to at least check out a couple of hypnobirthing videos, such as the ones below, so you can see that it isn’t something to be scared of.
Involving the birthing partner(s)
Who will your birthing partner be? Maybe you’ll have more than one, or maybe you won’t have any. Deciding who they should be and how involved they should be is a very personal choice.
Some people choose to have their entire extended family joining them for the birth, so that it’s a celebration the whole way through.
Others don’t want anyone else to be there, they want to go through the process in solitude to keep it an intimate experience between themselves and the baby.
In our case Mr A was my birthing partner. Living in a different country to both of our families made it complicated for anyone else to be involved face-to-face, but Mr A kept them updated through Whatsapp.
In hypnobirthing some birthing partners are actively involved: repeating your chosen affirmations, counting the breaths and reminding you of all the techniques, lest you forget mid-contraction.
In other cases the partner doesn’t want to get involved at all.
Mr A was not one for chanting affirmations in a soothing voice, but that was fine by me. He made sure that my guided visualisation was constantly running and helped me to articulate that I didn’t want the interventions being suggested
Most importantly, he applied pressure to my lower back through every contraction, as I was experiencing back labour. Without this the whole experience would have been a hell of a lot worse, so I am forever thankful that he was there for me and supporting me throughout.
How to make hypnobirthing work: take action
The old saying goes “knowledge is power”. I would disagree with this. Knowledge is just potential power. Knowledge plus ACTION is power.
If you want hypnobirthing to have a positive impact on your labour, you can’t just attend a 4 week course and that’s that. You have to TAKE ACTION and actually practise what you have learnt.
This means practising the breathing techniques, listening to the positive affirmations and doing the guided visualisations.
You want these things to come naturally to you when you are in the final throes of labour, and the only way for that to happen is if you have practised them over and over and over again.
So does hypnobirthing work?
Drum roll please…….
In my experience: YES. Absolutely. 100% yes.
For all the details, you can read my full birthing story. In short, hypnobirthing helped me beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Through hypnobirthing I was able to experience labour as an intense and beautiful adventure. Was it hard? Yes. Was it painful? Yes, but it was manageable and I was able to deal with it, always keeping in mind the end goal of meeting my baby.
In the end, I didn’t get my wish for a vaginal delivery. Mother Nature had other ideas. But when the doctor made the decision that she would have to deliver by C-section, hypnobirthing continued to guide me and I was able to remain calm throughout the procedure.
Afterwards I did struggle emotionally with the fact that the delivery ended this way. I have written a post to explain the main thing that helped me to deal with it.
Despite the labour ending in a C-section, I was still able to experience almost the entire labour, including hours of pushing, drug free and with a smile to start every contraction.
Conclusion
Hypnobirthing has some stigma surrounding it, I assume mainly because people don’t really know what it is and think it is all a bit hippy and woo woo. I certainly received some raised eyebrows when I told people that I was doing it.
I urge you to see through all of that though and to embrace the true essence of hypnobirthing: releasing your fear of childbirth, so that you can go into it with positivity and confidence.
If you are contemplating giving hypnobirthing a go, my recommendation is to DO IT! Just make sure you go into it willing to do the practise: listening to positive affirmations, breath work, and guided visualisations are all key aspects of a successful hypnobirthing experience.
Final thoughts: hypnobirthing does not necessarily make your labour pain free and it does not guarantee that you will not endure any complications. What it does do is equip you with tools to keep your body relaxed, your mental state positive and your attention on your breath.
I’m so glad I chose to use hypnobirthing. If you decide to try it out, I would LOVE to hear about your experiences!